19. imagine

tomorrow is the 31st, which means january is over. goodbye month one.

today, i got an email about my ten year high school reunion.

what is happening to the ticking clock? it might as well be 2024 at the rate time seems to be flying by.

i remember being a little boy, imagining my life as a grown up. i might be making this up, but i have this beautiful memory of lying in the front yard, starting up at a clear blue sky, imagining who i was going to be when i grew up. imagining where i was going to live. and what i was going to do. there was so much possibility in the unknown. and i loved it.

but it also stressed me out, let's be honest.

looking back at my first ten years post high school, i'll openly admit to being proud of all the things i've accomplished. sure, i'm not rich. no, i don't own a house. and i don't have any babies. yet. but i followed my dreams to japan. and then chased them all across america. and now i'm in new york, stalking out that eternal happiness i've always imagined. it's only a matter of time before i've hogtied myself a happy ending.

sure, i have plenty i could complain about. i mean, we all do, don't we? nothing ever goes exactly like we'd like it to. i know i've told myself many a bed time story, only to have the actual ending turn out the one way i'd never rehearsed. but even so, i've always viewed life as an adventure. everything happens for a reason, and i've taken the ride for the past 27 years.

but now that i've hit the ten year reunion, and the engagement, i have to start thinking about these next ten years. who do i want to be now? where do i want to be? what do i want to be doing?

which is where this gentleman thing comes into play, i guess.

one step at a time.