as soon as i got back from the store, the first thing rob did was drink straight from the carton. i waited a minute before punching him in the shoulder and then he laughed at me.
"i was waiting to see what you'd do," he said. "besides, i still don't see why that's a rule."
on the one hand, i get it. on the other, i see rob's point. which brings up the first question i have to answer before i can go any further in my quest: what exactly is a gentleman?
i still have to read "How to be a Gentleman," which i know will open my eyes to tons of wisdom that will spell out what a gentleman should and should not do (like what to do should i meet the queen and the pope at the same time). but will it actually define what exactly a gentleman is? before i can go any further in this journey, it's imperative that i start off by figuring out what my destination is. who is this gentleman i hope to become?
in the most basic sense, i want to become a better man. i want to let go of the bad habits i've picked up along the way and replace them. with something. better. greater. more dignified.
so in an effort to start out on the right path, i've tried out a few small things. they're certainly not resolutions and they probably won't stick, but i feel like they're helping me to at least keep up my awareness of gentlemanly qualities. for instance, i made it a point to wish my facebook friends a happy birthday yesterday and today. i plan on trying to keep up with this one. usually i don't pay attention to the birthday list (because apparently it takes so much effort to do so) but if they're my friends i should be wishing them a happy birthday. that's a nice thing to do. and gentlemen do nice things. also, i made it a point to eat dinner at the dining room table yesterday. off a plate, even. i felt like it went along with the "not drinking milk out of the carton" thing. it doesn't matter that i had dinner alone at home last night and that no one saw me go through the effort of plating my food and clearing off a spot at the table. what matters is that i thought i owed it to myself to have a nice dinner - and not to eat like a slob on the couch. today, when i got dressed, i put a tie on instead of just throwing on the same thing i wore yesterday, like i often do when i'm lounging around at home.
the biggest thing i've attempted to do over the past two days, which has been the hardest thing to overcome because it's my biggest fault that drives all of my friends crazy, is respond to virtually every correspondence that's come my way. i still have a few missed calls to return, but i've made it a point to respond to every text message, phone call and email that's made it to me. i get so in the habit of pushing things off and saying "ah, i'll get to it later," so that later turns into hours which turn into days which eventually become weeks and then i've turned into that jerk who just doesn't respond. and once we've hit that mark, where it's been at least a week, some kind of anxiety takes me over that just keeps me from doing anything about it. i've been like that for as long as i can remember and if i didn't have such understanding friends, i don't think i'd have friends at all.
but, see, my friends deserve better. and so do i. and so i'm trying. and i know it's not going to be easy to just change 27 years of habit, but it's getting to the point where if i don't do something, i very well may end up alone.
so it's time i suck it up and become a better man. for me, and rob, and everyone we know.
No comments:
Post a Comment