2. the oath

i slept in pretty late today. i mean, let's be honest since this is a blog, and blogs are meant for honesty: we didn't get home until almost 5 am last night. but to our defense, it wasn't entirely out fault. first of all, it was new year's eve. no one gets home early on new year's eve. secondly, there were five of us coming back to the apartment (since we had friends staying over after our new year's celebration). because we all couldn't fit in a normal cab, we tried hailing a van, but when there were no vans anywhere to be seen, we settled on taking the train home, which is always a mistake after 2 am in new york city because it takes forever.

needless to say, the late night train ride plus the effects of the celebratory champagne equaled waking up around 2:30, so even though i haven't had much time to dedicate to being a gentleman today i have managed to take a few steps forward on my new path.

i started with a book rob and i were given for christmas from rob's aunt pat.

when i settled on becoming a gentleman this year, i had almost forgotten about getting this book. but then i saw it sitting under our christmas tree today, so i picked it up to see if i could use it as a road map for my venture into this new world of change and self-discovery. i hadn't finished the first page when my eyes stumbled upon a lesson i wasn't sure i had the willpower to follow.

"Even if he lives alone, a gentleman never drinks milk directly from the container."

i groaned a little and then read the sentence aloud to rob, who was playing on his ipad across the room. "i don't think i'll be good at following this," i said. "i drink out of the carton all the time. and i don't live alone, which makes it worse."

with his eyes still on his ipad, rob said "ok, that's a bit much. some of those rules might be fine for when you're in public but it shouldn't matter what a man does behind closed doors when he's alone."

to which i surprised myself by responding: "but it's the principle behind it. a monk isn't just a monk while people are watching him be a monk and then he abandons those values and that way of life when he's alone behind closed doors. if you've chosen to be a gentleman, it's not just a show you put on for people, it's a way of life."

silence.

"touche."

my choosing to be a gentleman is my choosing to take an oath with myself to hold myself to a set of higher ideals, to a way of life that will make me better. even if the things i do are things people won't understand or even notice (like not drinking from the milk carton) they are building blocks for the new foundation i'm building myself. for the new life i'm creating that will affect both me and the world i inhabit.

so today, on this first day of this new year of this new decade, i will be taking an oath, the oath of the gentleman.