26. the sick gentleman

i've learned that it's impossible to be a gentleman when you're sick. because when my body is under attack, i revert back to a child. and it's so hard to be a gentleman when i just want someone to take care of me.

luckily, my schedule this past week has been pretty easy, so i've been able to take care of myself and recover. i've just had to sacrifice some social outings. but who wants to go out anyways when they're not feeling well? because there's nothing worse than trying to pretend to be happy and jovial in public when the truth is you feel like walking death.

i feel bad though, because i've also found that being sick has made me a little short tempered. and i've taken some of my feelings out on rob. like when he came home late the other night. he knew i wasn't feeling well, but still came home at 4am and woke me up - and then didn't get in bed until after 5 - so i was furious. i didn't understand why he wasn't being sympathetic. because if he wasn't feeling well, i would have come home so much earlier. so i got mad. it wasn't at all gentlemanly, but i couldn't help myself. in retrospect, i was being silly. but in the moment, i couldn't see past my sick induced anger.

eh. i guess you win some and lose some. at least i had the excuse of being sick. with a fever. and chills. it's hard to be polite when you're having chills in bed.

of course, now i'm making excuses. and i guess the real question is - do gentlemen make excuses. and we all know the answer is no.

but we live and we learn. so i'll just take this as a lesson and try not to be such a sissy bitch about being sick next time.