i'm three sessions in to a meditation workshop. and i'm amazed that it's taken me so long to discover this.
i just started working for this new fitness studio in new york. we're very holistic, and all about energy, so when the chance to take a meditation workshop came up, we all immediately signed up.
usually i'm against these sort of things. i mean, the idea of hypnosis makes my eyes involuntarily roll, because i can't imagine anyone realistically letting someone else control their mind. and i've tried to sit down and quiet my mind, but too many thoughts flood around in my head for me to stop thinking for more than three seconds.
but this workshop has changed my life. completely. and it's giving me this new life and energy that i haven't had in a long time. this newfound life and energy that's going to help me tackle life and my gentleman project.
see, last year i did things all wrong. i was working from the outside in. this year, i'm doing it right. working from the inside out.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
41. week 1
so. i had the idea of the year of the gentleman LAST year. but it really seems like THIS year was meant to be the year of the gentleman.
i'll explain.
this time last year i didn't have anything on my plate. all i was doing was sleeping a lot and criticizing myself for drinking out of the milk carton.
this year i have an AMAZING job that inspires me. i'm waking up early every day to head out to work. i'm so much more excited about being out in the world. and i have purpose. i didn't have purpose last year. at all. i thought i did, but i didn't. at all.
but now i do! so now i have a reason (and a want) to follow through with the things i set out to do. update my wardrobe, for instance, for work. and for play. workout and take control of my body. be social and make it a point to regularly see my friends. i bought a book today to read because i want to. i feel so alive.
that's all i needed. an offing job. that wasn't just a gig to pay the rent. but something that i find fulfilling.
this is amazing.
so needless to say, the first week of the year has been amazing. i mean, the last two months of '11 were great - but i'm already noticing a huge difference in myself. in my lifestyle. in my soul.
so maybe i'll actually stick with chronicling things this year. because i'm finally on the right track. and it feels so good.
i'll explain.
this time last year i didn't have anything on my plate. all i was doing was sleeping a lot and criticizing myself for drinking out of the milk carton.
this year i have an AMAZING job that inspires me. i'm waking up early every day to head out to work. i'm so much more excited about being out in the world. and i have purpose. i didn't have purpose last year. at all. i thought i did, but i didn't. at all.
but now i do! so now i have a reason (and a want) to follow through with the things i set out to do. update my wardrobe, for instance, for work. and for play. workout and take control of my body. be social and make it a point to regularly see my friends. i bought a book today to read because i want to. i feel so alive.
that's all i needed. an offing job. that wasn't just a gig to pay the rent. but something that i find fulfilling.
this is amazing.
so needless to say, the first week of the year has been amazing. i mean, the last two months of '11 were great - but i'm already noticing a huge difference in myself. in my lifestyle. in my soul.
so maybe i'll actually stick with chronicling things this year. because i'm finally on the right track. and it feels so good.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
40. hello 2012
hello, 2012. my name is anthony. it's very nice to meet you.
2011 and i didn't really see eye to eye. well, that's not entirely true. the petulant child in me didn't like 2011 because things didn't necessarily work out the way i wanted them to. but 2011, being much wiser than me, gave me exactly what i needed.
i did say i wanted to spend 2011 growing and becoming a gentleman. well, i had plenty of opportunities to do just that.
so where am i now? a year later, i'm in pretty much the same place. but i'm a little bit stronger. a little bit wiser. a little bit more focused. last year, the gentleman thing was an idea. one that i eventually got bored with. i tried to convince myself that it was something i was really going to focus on. but i didn't. and that's ok.
i was focusing on all the wrong things. i started out by focusing on all the things i could do to become a gentleman. i wasn't focusing on what it would actually take to get there. i was trying to work from the outside in instead of from the inside out. so maybe this year i'll start where i should have started last year. i'll focus on my honor and integrity and intention, not on how i dress and whether or not i drink from the milk carton. because you can dress anyone up to look like a gentleman. that doesn't mean he is one.
and i want to be one.
i really want to be one.
i have some really wonderful things to focus on this year. a new job that i adore. a theatre company that i've started with three friends. a one man show that i'm going to start writing based partly on this blog. i have wonderful things to focus on. and through those things, i'll have opportunities to grow as a gentleman.
i think that's where i failed last year. i didn't have things to do. i spent a lot of time at home, doing nothing. i spent majority of the year unemployed. and when i was working it was out of necessity. not out of interest. and because of that, i found myself grasping for this impossible happiness. i was floundering and sinking. how could i possibly be a gentleman?!
so hello, 2012. i'm going to do things a lot differently this year.
so let's go!
2011 and i didn't really see eye to eye. well, that's not entirely true. the petulant child in me didn't like 2011 because things didn't necessarily work out the way i wanted them to. but 2011, being much wiser than me, gave me exactly what i needed.
i did say i wanted to spend 2011 growing and becoming a gentleman. well, i had plenty of opportunities to do just that.
so where am i now? a year later, i'm in pretty much the same place. but i'm a little bit stronger. a little bit wiser. a little bit more focused. last year, the gentleman thing was an idea. one that i eventually got bored with. i tried to convince myself that it was something i was really going to focus on. but i didn't. and that's ok.
i was focusing on all the wrong things. i started out by focusing on all the things i could do to become a gentleman. i wasn't focusing on what it would actually take to get there. i was trying to work from the outside in instead of from the inside out. so maybe this year i'll start where i should have started last year. i'll focus on my honor and integrity and intention, not on how i dress and whether or not i drink from the milk carton. because you can dress anyone up to look like a gentleman. that doesn't mean he is one.
and i want to be one.
i really want to be one.
i have some really wonderful things to focus on this year. a new job that i adore. a theatre company that i've started with three friends. a one man show that i'm going to start writing based partly on this blog. i have wonderful things to focus on. and through those things, i'll have opportunities to grow as a gentleman.
i think that's where i failed last year. i didn't have things to do. i spent a lot of time at home, doing nothing. i spent majority of the year unemployed. and when i was working it was out of necessity. not out of interest. and because of that, i found myself grasping for this impossible happiness. i was floundering and sinking. how could i possibly be a gentleman?!
so hello, 2012. i'm going to do things a lot differently this year.
so let's go!
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