here's the thing...i need a job doing what i love. i need to do more than survival jobs. i'm tired of just getting by. i want a career. not just a hobby. i'm discouraged that auditions aren't leading to anything right now. i know i should be happy that i keep getting final callbacks for shows, but seriously, can't i just get cast? can't the universe pick me this time?
sometimes when i write i get cryptic. i talk in circles. around things rather than about them.
but i'm sad that the universe keeps choosing other people over me. it makes me lose faith in myself, in this career, in my choices...
i should buck up, i guess, deal with it all. but. it's. hard.
that's all.
Hey Anthony, I really sympathise with the fact that you're not being cast lately, but can you just bear in mind the pleasure you give to other people. For example, I've been away for a week, surrounded by people - and it was great. Tonight I'm home alone - could've felt a bit sorry for myself - but have spent the time simply listening to woodlandcreature22 and it's been a GREAT night. So thanks. x x x
ReplyDeleteThank you. I know I'm being a petulant child, and I appreciate you putting things into perspective. Perspective is the one thing that's really hard to come by when you're dealing with overwhelming feelings of sadness. It's so hard to step outside the melancholy and see the big picture. The big picture is that I don't like where I'm at and am tired of waiting for a change to come. There are far worst things that I could be dealing with. Thanks for reminding me that things are ok :-)
ReplyDeleteI won't accept that you're a petulant child. You're an incredibly talented and attractive guy who has chosen a hell of a profession and at the moment your true capabilities are not being recognised. (Or so it seems to me.) You've got so many people wishing you well, loving and admiring you from afar. That's got to count for something, hasn't it? Hugs, kisses.
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